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who gives up sex, chocolate, television, money and personal accountability in order to follow around some rich guy with a funny name; see guru. For the first time in years, our sweet, lispy angel voices dropped away and our vocal cords boomed with confidence and direction. Tibetan cymbal (n) : Brass replicas of flying saucers that make noise when clanged together; great for torturing dogs and cats. You must move to the grid matrix location you call Sedona and become enroll in the Mail Order Mystery School of Ascended Mastery." What luck, I thought: correspondence school for enlightenment, plus Frankie and his WBW goddessesthose affirmations Deep Cavern Talking taught me must really. I was hot, and I knew. While working Step Two, many a NAAer has fallen under the spell of MLM downlines for essential motor oil or stocked up on postulant protein powder. No, the Newageoholic, self-centered to the extreme, wont have anything to do with such honestyunless of course, his sanity and freedom depend. Looking around at the embarrassed faces, we flash back to drum circles, medicine wheels, crop circles; we remember the times when the talking stick came to us, how we blubbered out all of our lifes secrets to a group of strangers. Easy: We visit our family.
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(n) : Disembodied entities who join together to tell New Agers what to do; see disembodied entity. Changing my name to Songbird (an eight numerologically, which was just one number above my magic seven) and incorporating my affinity for phone numbers, I developed a highly refined niche in the realm of Seven Digit Phone Number Creator Gods. Imagine, me in the same boat as Noah. I incorporated as Midnight Crusaders, Inc., even trycaviar promo code chicago managed to get m as my domain, and began offering snail and email-order white witchcraft and dark goddess rituals for housewives with too much time on their hands. This is a time to celebrate, for finally we can stop being supreme. How can we possibly admit that wheat grass tastes disgusting after paying so much for that grass extraction machine? She had taken off her clothes and was lying on my light beam generator with goggles over her eyes. Rainbow (n) : A distant cousin of Ronald McDonalds Golden Arches, this colorful companion has left the New Age in order to serve Earths 10 percent; however, some New Agers continue to cling to its 70s identity, which may suggest they are residing in more. Go to parties and advocate imbalance. Call psychic hotlines and ask for Charlie Tuna. Step Ten "Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly relished." As we work the first nine steps, we are preparing ourselves for an ordinary way of life.